It was eighth grade, I had a test I had forgotten about, that was not studied for, but I had to take it anyway. I took the test, and I failed. I got a bad grade, and I knew it would tank my overall grade. I left that class with tears in my eyes, and then I saw my friend, Lanie. She told me she had failed a test before too, and that it would be okay – she would even help me study for the retake. She turned my sadness into a smile in just seconds. I knew we would be best friends. She has been there through the good times and the not so good. It is so important to have a friend like that.

How to be that friend

Everyone needs a go-to person who you can call no matter what, and they can change the tears to a laugh immediately or be with you through a heartbreak. We work for hours learning math and english concepts, but do we spend much time learning how to be a good friend? To be a good friend takes practice. Friendship is so important. So, how do you become a good friend?

Be honest and trustworthy

Imagine you have a friend lying to you all the time. Big lies or white lies cause instability and a lack of trust in the relationship. If you are not able to trust the person, it makes friendship feel fake. Being trustworthy is vital for friendship. Be a safe space for your friend. You want them to feel safe telling you things and know that you can keep their secrets and be true to them.

Reach out when your friends are feeling down

If you know your friend is going through something or struggling, make sure to reach out. You want to be an active friend and not just be there in the good times, but also in the bad. Research shows that “friendships can atrophy when they feel one-sided. Ask questions, be curious” If you can go out of your way to make sure they are okay, it will deepen the relationship. It is important to acknowledge how they feel. This will help them with whatever they are dealing with.

Be positive and joyful

Who you are around is who you start becoming, so it is important to be a positive and joyful friend. We have all been around that person who is toxic and talks bad behind everyone’s back. This person brings nothing but negativity. Being positive and kind is an important aspect of being a great friend.

Be empathetic

Being empathetic is something that friendships should have on both sides. Empathy means to show you care and to put yourself in their shoes to try to best understand them. The friendships that have empathy will be healthier, and will deepen your connection with them emotionally. It also helps resolve any arguments because you will see their perspective better. Being empathetic matters.

Stick up for your friends

One thing lots of high schoolers deal with is gossip. Being talked about can make you feel small.  and worthless. That is why it is important to have friends that have your back. Sophomore Isabella Jones says, “Being a good friend consists of caring, supporting and defending your friends. I think you should always be a good friend even when no one is watching. Sticking up for your friends when they’re not around is one way to do this.”

Be intentional and be outgoing

Many students feel overwhelmed with school, sports, and other activities, so they forget to reach out to their friends. However, putting in the effort is worth it. Junior Ellie Means says, “I think how to keep a close friendship is by reaching out and asking to do things with each other to maintain that close friendship. It should definitely be both friends reaching out to each other because when only one person reaches out, it makes it feel one-sided and that could make that person feel as if they are the only one putting in effort and can slowly make the friendship drift.”

Friendships are one of the most important aspects of life, and everyone needs to have a close friend they can count on. To have friends you must be a friend. Hopefully this helps you be an even better friend and have better friendships! Do you have an amazing friend? Tell us about them in the comments.