Not to flex, but I have a pretty cool story on why my parents got divorced. I befriended a girl, Gilly, at my brother’s swim practice and made the dire mistake of introducing my parents to hers. Around a year after this occurrence, both of our parents got divorced and started dating new people.

When I say new people—I mean my mom started dating Gilly’s dad, and my dad started dating Gilly’s mom. Weird, I know.

Following the months and years after my parent’s divorce and re-coupling, I failed at a lot of things. It was hard to focus at school, so I failed tests. I was constantly upset, so I failed at being a good friend.

But most importantly, I failed at being able to forgive. 

All I wanted was for my parents to be back together because I simply could not accept that they would be better apart. I couldn’t forgive them for breaking up our family, so I turned to religiously watching ‘The Parent Trap,’ the famous 1961 classic film about twins who con their divorced parents to fall in love again. Little did I know that it’s just a movie, and you can’t force your parents back together. You also can’t force forgiveness.

I couldn’t forgive my parents’ new significant others since I felt they were partially at fault for the divorce. 

I couldn’t forgive my own brother when he would act out because I couldn’t accept that he was also hurting.

I couldn’t forgive Gilly when our friendship slowly deteriorated due to the fact that we now were forced to share our parents.

I couldn’t even forgive myself since I felt like the divorce was completely my fault.

However, as I grew up, I learned to forgive. With time, I discovered these new people were put into my life for a reason, and I started to appreciate life how it was. I see now that what my parents did was what was best for our family. I have an amazing step-dad who I adore. I’ve accepted my brother for who he is, acting out or not. I learned that Gilly and I are better as sisters.  And I finally realized that it was not my fault.

So, yes my parents’ divorce caused me to fail in a lot of areas, but more than anything, it helped me to grow. Through forgiveness, I’ve learned to be a better daughter, step-daughter, sister and step-sister. 

I used to watch ‘The Parent Trap’ because I wanted to believe that I could fix all of my unsolved problems, but I have since realized that some things are better left unfixed. 

Sometimes, experiencing hurt is what truly helps us succeed.