An important part of life is having good friends to support you. But have you ever had a friend that could turn a good day into a frustrating one? Or maybe you feel like you’re being laughed at in a group chat rather than laughed with. Things like this happening every once in a while don’t necessarily mean you have a toxic friendship, but they could be signs that you might not want to ignore.

If you’re wondering if you might have a toxic friend, here are some red flags that might explain all the drama in your life. 

Inconsiderate of your feelings

A friend talking behind your back is an obvious red flag. But if your friend is constantly telling you when other people are saying bad things about you, consider how that might be affecting you and your self esteem. Depending on the situation, a friend might feel like you have a right to know what people are saying about you; however, if it seems like your friend is a little too happy to let you know when people are saying hurtful things about you, you might want to pay closer attention to their reasons for telling you.

Disrespects boundaries

Sometimes having a friend that pushes you out of your comfort zone in a supportive way can be beneficial. However, if they’re constantly pressuring you into doing things that make you uncomfortable, making bad decisions or ignoring your feelings, that could be harmful. Your friends—especially in high school—should bring out the best in you. Take a minute and think about if a friendship of yours could possibly be encouraging to do things you don’t actually want to do.

Making everything a competition

Have you ever noticed that a friend of yours seems to have a compulsive need to constantly one-up you no matter the situation? You mention an accomplishment you’ve made, and they claim that they’ve made a similar accomplishment, only they did it better than you. You might even tell them about a terrible experience, and they will always have one that’s way worse. Having a friend with this habit can make communicating or even having a casual conversation with them feel frustrating.

Their “jokes” are really just criticism

Naturally, good friends will joke around and tease each other sometimes, but there are times when things can get too harsh. Your friend may often say things that are genuinely hurtful and then claim that you just don’t know how to take a joke when you call them out on it, convincing you that you’re just being sensitive. This is not funny, it’s gaslighting. Dealing with this type of behavior can be damaging to your mental health.

Manipulation

We all want to feel like a supportive and attentive friend, but always being responsible for your friend’s feelings is not the same thing. If your friend gets mad because you can not immediately respond to their crisis, they’re too dependent on you for support. Friends should not twist situations and make you feel guilty for not always doing or giving them what they want. This is a sure sign of a dysfunctional friendship. 

Having stable and healthy friendships is crucial to adolescent development, mental well-being and your overall happiness. You shouldn’t let a bad friend hold you back. It may seem hard, but it’s important to be able to see the signs that someone might be toxic and, if needed, distance yourself from that person. 

Have you ever had a toxic friend? How did you handle the situation? Let us know in the comments.